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Thursday, July 20, 2017

You Poop?

It's almost as if we've been living together for the last 19 days - very interesting.

I wondered what it would be like, or do to us, to spend so much time together and get to know each other more intimately - not sexy intimacy, but the boring and revealing intimacies like... you poop?

Although, on that note and just a bit of an aside: I'm sure he assumes I poop - but I've yet to do it while he's around. My wily, feminine ways just wont seem to let it happen naturally while I'm with him. Oh wait, perhaps a new milestone. brb.

Okay, so I do indeed poop. Thank Christ. That was getting to be an unhealthy lifestyle choice I appeared to have no control over. And if that was at all vague - he's in my bed, my bathroom is in my bedroom, and I just pooped (achievement unlocked)! But, I digress.

The last 19 days, where we've, for all intent and purpose, lived together and worked together, has been real good. The love has grown quietly and purposefully. We bike, roller skate, he cooks (I help a bit), we eat, we build lego cats, we watch GoT and Silicon Valley etc.

I have no idea why, when I look at him, my body just surrenders. We had one little fightish at work and we couldn't make up fast enough. I'm learning about him and he's learning about me - which brings me to last night.

In his normal routine, he stays up late and sleeps in. I sleep early and wake up early. He adopted my schedule for a few days, and last night it all caught up with him. I am learning his subtleties:

He was cranky and, apparently, thus sensitive to fucking everything and the way he goes about saying that is oddly passive aggressive:

  • I don't like this music (acoustic chill), it's like mleh blah mleh sad blah. I wanted something... happy. Do you like this music? Did I not make the conscious choice to listen to it? 
  • [After commenting that I did my nails] What kind of nail polish do you wear? It smells strong. (I can't stand how you smell right now)
  • Oh, you drank wine (you taste and smell boozey. I don't like that)
  • Someone outside (in the world somewhere) is smoking [closes front door quickly]
  • There's a giant bee in kitchen, I don't do bees. That's cool. I don't do spiders. Let me get that for you ... (?)
  • [Me taking my turn putting together our lego cat project] I just like to watch you struggle (you kinda suck, hey?)
  • [Peeks at results of intimate full bikini wax] Wow, she really did destroy your vagina. What? Ugh - look, I have a lot of 'girl' and she's completely naked right now AND I'm in an awkward position. She didn't destroy me - that's me!
  • [Me defending my vagina] Well, I mean, you've had kids and stuff, it's probably gotten loser (wizard sleeves)... WTF? No, it's ALWAYS been like this. My vagina is not an old lady! (?)
  • [Me exercising dark humour: Yeah, I'm going to get it trimmed] [Him - irrevocably repulsed] What the fuck, why would you say that? Oh my god, that's... fuck... [trying to remove imagery] ugh, don't say that [eye squinting pain face]. I feel weird now.
Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you...


So, that was fun! Not even kidding. He is an odd bird, and although I can imagine all of these endearing things, including the way he forgive me for being cute-walks sometimes, being all the reasons I would say he was "driving me CRAZY" - I hope that never happens. I hope I always adore his awkward, angular and sharp, lack of filter.

Lucky for him, I am busy for the next three days so we wont see each other. We can have a break as we ease into this "see each other a lot" thing. We can each catch up on our individual alone time: he can sleep and I can poop.


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