Ya, So...

After writing yesterdays post and just feeling sad in general, my partner awoke to my somber, reflective mood and asked, "What's up?"

I told him, "Nothing really, I'm just... sad."

He came and sat beside me, his arm gently around me, and asked some gently probing questions until I said, with tears, "I think it's work."

Facing all those permutations of numbers and functions disguised as words and needs, validating those needs and words against existing uses, protecting it from... who? Too many, too much. So complex, it's like rubbing two sticks together for two years and - finally and again - getting smoke.

I'm disappointed that I'm burnt out. I wanted to be stronger, the strongest.