Looking at Discontent

I really just shouldn't, I shouldn't stare at my discontent. If I do, it's the only thing I'll see, and while it does exist it is certainly not the only thing, right? I can admit that discontent exists and trust that I will move past it.

If I only stare at all that junk and garbage that I have left on my living room chair, that for some reason seems like such a chore to deal with, and shame myself for being a... a what, I don't know. A lazy, dirty person perhaps? Then I will only see that reflection in the mirror.

If I only look at the parts of my relationship that make me feel trapped and lonely, it will be the only reflection of my life I will see.

If I think I am trapped, I will feel trapped.

I don't think I'm trapped. I think I have previous experience that leads me to see a relationship as a marriage, but mine does not have to be that. I only need to live the life I want, my inner emotional eco-system, and it will be. My partner could be my lover.

I need to kneel to my inner most desire, take a deep breath, and follow that path, trusting the unknown.

Maybe the stuff on the chair just represents to me the other things I'm not doing, the things that I really want to allow to come to fruition.