Fuck. You.

We got the chance to talk enough for me to say something like - look, you're doing the push/pull thing with me. One moment your lovey and the next moment you have this professional boundary or, this was new this morning, he didn't want to tell me but he's been fighting off a cold and has been since we got here.... 

Are you fucking kidding me? You have a cold? And that's why you come into my room and and kiss me but I can't do the same to you. Because, you want your space but only when you want it and it's cool that you send me mix signals, kiss me when you want to and otherwise treat me like I'm a buddy co worker mother fucker bullshit head game shit.

So, I end it saying. "Look it's fine, I'm just really annoyed with your on/off approach to me. It doesn't feel like I can just be me. Just let me be annoyed and don't pretend everything is normal."

To which he said, "Okay that sounds fair to me."

I don't want to look at him. I don't want to make fake smiles. I'm fucking annoyed and pissed off. Go away, go snowboard, if you want space - then FUCKING TAKE IT. Don't come have some kisses when you want it and then shut off completely. Basically, he calls the shots and comes and goes as he pleases. Not working for me. Thanks anyways.

So, that's it. I'm annoyed and I don't want to make pretend small talk. And I have every right to be annoyed at his "have my cake and eat it too."

Not my jam.

Oh, and yeah, after we settled on my be annoyed, he's walking around singing,  "You've lost that loving feeling..."

and if I was to suggest that he was sending a secret message kinda thing, he would deny it.

Not cool.... brah.