Likely because I am perceiving cross roads that come with the threat of life altering decisions. I do not want those feelings right now.
Should I live with the Greek?
What will that do to us?
Do I want that?
Do I really love him that much?
What does that much really mean?
Could it mean something simpler than I am thinking?
What do I want?
Do I really like this job?
Why are these people screaming at me?
Why am I letting them?
Am I happy here still?
Do I yearn for something more inline with my heart?
I think I want what I feel a yearning for - but is that real? Or fantasy?
Can I continue be the mother I think, thought I am/was with this distance?
Should I fuck everything there and move back there?
Really? Should I?
It's not the time for these decisions.
Now is simply the time to allow roads to effortlessly show themselves to me. I have no other tasks but to allow simplicity and beauty.
I surrender to the truth.
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