Rise

 If I were to write the story of our start up to break out SaaS, what would I focus on? What would be my hook, what would the flavour? Comedic by the minute, drama by the season? Would it be driven by an ego/equity focus? Am I looking for redemption? The answer to that is yes to a large degree - but in the end, is that what tells the story? Who is the protagonist and who are the people we want to focus on? 

I think if it was to be a meaningful story, the driver would have to be the inequity. Which is currently appalling in many cases. The story of two key female players that are initially empowered by the bright and insightful CEO, but then are overlooked and out numbered by the influx of male bravado hired to "get the start up to the next level"

• What got us here wont get us there
• 10x baby!
• Old guard vs. new guard
• OG's
• Some people are better in start ups and can't make the switch to the growth stage
• The wrong leaders in the wrong places
• Undermining historical context
• Maybe 5x... ?
• Crumbling infrastructure 
• Mistrust
• More wrong leaders in the wrong places
• More mistrust
• Doubling down on undermining historical context 
• More mistrust
• 
  

there is a story here, but I can't find an angle that I like. 

What's interesting today is that we might be in a bit of the scorpion and the frog scenario. With the help of a capitol partner, we've merged with one of our more friendly competitors with a common goal of beating out our shared major competitor. Our capitol partners - as luck would have it - has relationships with some former key players from the major competitor. In fact, now that the deal is done, in addition to the former COO of [major competitor] there is also a CPO and sales leader from [major competitor] coming in to "help us get to the next level and go beyond [major competitor]. However, my spidey senses say that our major competitor has simply outsmarted us. We'er quite possibly on the road to being absorbed/bought out by them. They are the scorpion. We are the trusting frog. 

That would be the story's end. All the work that these humble people put in to getting to a place, succeeding as a saas company, and passing our competition is made moot by this merger (turned acquisition). It's all for not in the end?

All that aside, I find I'm feeling a little listless this weekend. I'm tapped out on the hype of it all. There is so much work to be done and we have so much drama under the hood. It's silly and embarrassing. 

What I would like is to go to work with wonderful people with whom I collaborate with to solve fun puzzles for interesting people. We laugh at the craziness of our ideas, but then we turn them into innovation. We turn our ideas into beautiful, simple logic. That's what I love. 

But today, the reality is that I am tired and a little sad. Something is passing through me. There is a letting go, an undoing. A passing. 

I think of my mom often these days (hi mom 👋 !), I think she's really present lately. There's something in the air. A shift. If I ask, what do I hear? A ship keeps coming to mind... "hold fast" is the word connected to the sense I'm getting. Things are going to be fast and it is meaningful for me to hold on and keep my bearings. There's a calm afterwards that is of great value to me, in that it sets up the next stage of my life. 

I have to remember that it's okay to be low on energy, that is just a sign that I need to balance my mind and actions. Right now, I would like to simplify. I think I'm trying to hold too much together, everything is priority number one and I am on high alert. I would benefit from changing that. I will walk slowly. Slow my breath, keep my eyes open and keep moving forward calmly and creatively.