It's a Deep Breath Kind of Morning

I don't know why, but it is. Dear Diary...

This morning I will just pray and send gratitude out into the spirit energy layer. Pray that I can stay on that layer today.

Work is work. It's tough, but I feel like I know it's important to persevere.

It's important to love myself as I am.

Also, I feel like my relationship will wrap up within the year. I could be wrong, but I can see it on the horizon. I don't know if it will be me or him that will end it. It might have to be me.

It seems so clear to me that he needs to move into a new challenge in his life, but he's not quite ready to admit it. I think he's afraid of giving up what we have become, but there are ways in which he will always have me and still be happy, happier even perhaps.

I find myself dreaming of being comfortable alone. At peace. At oneness. I should be careful what I wish for, but the key word there is being comfortable. It certainly doesn't mean I wouldn't have a life.

But I dream of it like I used to dream of leaving my marriage and falling in love. And I still want that love, too. I just want to move into the next stage, the stage of graceful independence and a beautiful joy that penetrates all that I touch.

So, I would like to bring some of that into today.  A letting go of the frenetic synapse that my world is full of.

I want to put forward gratitude and pray for kindness, successes, and love.