You're Doing It.

Sometimes it's scary how fast my manifestations reveal themselves. All day yesterday I just kept seeing all the places where I had exactly what I was looking for - right down to the financial freedom and being in a position enough to fork over all the dollars my youngest daughter needed for things like highlights. The fact that she'll be close to to me this weekend, flowing in and out of my life with ease and joy and that I have a room for her to stay in, and that I'm here for her as she needs me.

It's scary, somehow, that everything I need is simply at my fingertips. Why? Why is it scary?

If you could have everything and anything that you wanted, would you want that? What if everything that you wanted was just so super simple and it was yours. What if what you really wanted was just ease and you realized, once you looked, that you had it. There was no real strife.

What will my body and mind eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if not adrenaline?

The key to my manifestation was not asking for those things, but asking to see when I had them. I had/have them all - right now. Every now.

When ever I have asked for those things in the past, I imagined them to be something I was not familiar with, something else that I thought/think I want even though I know that this is not how it works. I was still doing it from a "I would be happier if and when (I'm a well paid writer). Which just incites pain and loathing of my life today.

Perhaps the fear for me is that if I have everything that brings me joy and ease, then I become complacent when, in fact, I still want to strive for more. Maybe I'll never be a recognized author, and maybe it wont bring me the joy I think it will, but it's still something I want to try (like how others want to parachute out of a plane) . I'm curious about the book(s) in me and the process.

So, I suppose my balance is seeing (living) the ease and joy of today while feeling the reach of following curiosity and potential growth; bending towards the sun because that feels as good and natural as feeling the strength of my roots in the ground.

True, but embarrassingly optimistic