The Orgasm Pressure

I told the universe that I was ready to do what it takes to open myself up to enjoying this experience fully - which means sexually more than anything else.

Last night was so hard to achieve orgasm. Why? I was so frustrated, it was right there the whole time but I couldn't see it through because I was in my head. My so stupid head. I don't even really know what it is that I'm saying or doing to myself - but - I think most of it simply comes down to feeling the pressure to cum.

Yeah, just quickly scanned to internet and concluded - it's the pressure. The universe is making me talk to him about this and be more outgoing in sexual communication, which makes me a little vulnerable in speaking up, but it's not, thank god, due to some deep seeded, fucked up, past trauma - because I am so over that.

I own me. Not past experiences or people. I want to own him and I. I'm ready.

Bring it on, Universe.

I love fucking him. I love being fucked by him. I love laying with him.

I love him. I want to fully enjoy ever second of this, inside and out.