Be Quiet.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Maybe it was the dreams my brain was having as I slept, maybe they left a bad taste in my mouth.

I woke up and sat down, with coffee in hand, to take in the days community news around the pandemic. The good, the bad, the ugly. What a great and horrible time for social media - depending on your algorithm. You could be seeing beautiful community, realistic and informative news; or you could be seeing conspiracy theories, unnecessarily dramatic fear, haters, and weird political outbursts and opinions.

I saw mostly the later this morning, as if my feed's algorithm checked in with my dreams to make sure the were aligned in the messaging for today.

What really seems to grind my gears is all the community people who - for some reason - think that they are the ones people are looking to for answers, so they "go live" on facebook with their message of hope. And all it really is, is a false ego boost. It's like masterbating.

HOWEVER (and whatever) there are actually people who are getting something positive out of it, which just makes me an asshole, which is what happens when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You're an asshole.

Hmm. Maybe it was the wine. I had two glasses, a little more than usual. I thought my body had overcome the hangover effects of having a bit more wine than just with dinner. But maybe - the hangover is just a shitty mood. I will experiment with this and not have the wine and see how tomorrow is.

Ugh, and the beef in the stew. Why doesn't beef like me anymore?

Anyways. Pandemic. Outside of the pain and loss that people maybe/are suffering, this has been delightful. I hope that we retain some of what we've learned about ourselves - which is we don't really have to plug so hard into the machine of social norms around work and commerce. There is room to experiment. Change.

And, perhaps, more freedom to buy yarn online and knit while listening to audio books. And you know, finish writing that fucking book you always talk about. Focus. Really shut out the world. Just peek out now and then and say a truly heartfelt hello to people I pass. Do squats so my ass doesn't atrophy. Run by myself to release/replace old energy with new. Say hello to the sun and trees. Be quiet.