Love Me Like You Do

You always know and you never know.

You always know what is right for you, you never know anything about another person, not on the true inside.

I feel better. Confused still, but better. I am 99.999999999% sure that this anomaly in my life was dropping "you're on my mind" hints via lyrics he was quoting me - because, really, who does that without also trying to send a message. Especially when the lyrics are extremely relative. And when directly confronted with it:

Me: You know, these lyrics could be misleading.

Him: Sussudio!

Bitch, please...

Anyways, the idea that I was even remotely on his mind, even if for a short time, relieved me. Like, suddenly, I could let go of a breath I was holding. My brain un-tensed, my soul went from a solid to a liquid. I was free.

He's back to being a closed book now though. And I will never have any idea of why or how.

Maybe he meant nothing by those lyrics, maybe I was that foolish (really though? Sussudio? Read those lyrics)

Maybe he feels absolutely nothing for me. Like a big fuck all (could be).

Maybe he's just that scared to be involved.

These are all things I can't know and he is completely unwilling to share. We all know, though, that when a guy wants something - he just goes and gets it (guys, chime in here, are some just that nervous or conscious?).

Things I can't know and must let them be carried off with the wind, which I feel really good about doing now. Him having (maybe) a moment of weakness and dropping lyric hints gave me half his number and most of my power (upper hand) back.

I can respect his space with a little more ease. Even if he lets it go forever, at least I know I existed there in his heart, maybe, somewhere...

I've got to get closer but I don't know how

She makes me nervous and makes me scared

But I feel so good if I just say the word

  Su-Su-Sussudio, just say the word

Oh Su-Su-Sussudio, oh

Love Me Like You Do - Scrub.