New House, New Life

Once again, I have physically separated from my husband of 19 years. I am fully in my new own house now. It's lovely and I believe it will house me well.

I am at odds with my feelings though. At odds with the fact that this feels right when we get along so well and we truly love each other, why should I move away?

The short answer is because I will cheat on him.

I long to feel passionately connected to someone. I don't want to marry them or live with them, I just want to experience them or it.

But I don't want to experience it in small one night chunks with random people that I don't know.

It's time to thoughtfully spread my wings now. They are like new, sticky, never been spread before wings.

I've got a lot of work to do, and at times I wonder if the universe really had a hand in this, forcing me to admit to something so that I would be alone, and once alone, understand the depth and desire around my goals so that I get shit done.

I hope this is the catalyst that draws me towards the completion  these goals:

Write/Publish book 1
Write/Publish book 2
Write TV script 1

^That is a lot of god damn work.

New house, new life. It feels like it's on the brink of beautiful. I don't know why, but I'll take it.

And here's to the hope for beautiful moments with beautiful people.