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Thursday, September 27, 2018

Day 0: I'm Fucking "Home." Thank Christ! Jesssus. Holy Fuck and Shit

I slept at the Olbia airport, if you can call that sleep. We made our flight to Rome and I slept for the 3 hours to Amsterdam. I did not sleep for any of the 9.5 hour flight to home. Instead, I just started going slightly buggy, buggy lite, about halfway in. That was a bizarre small jail cell that at least gave me movies, Tetris, and free booze. I want to put it behind me forever.

My first thought this morning, after getting home last night and entering hours of deep dreamless sleep was: I'm want my own place. Fuck this moving in together thing. I need my independent space.

But then again.

 I just spent an hour looking at rentals up island and where I am. Meh, meh, meh...

If I commit to a place up there - what and who do I really have? My youngest is wholly engaged with her own life and very happy. I would see her minimally.

Here, I could build a life and have a second bedroom.  And, I wanted to get involved in the theatre stuff down here.

What I need in Nanaimo is an Airbnb that I become regular at that is totally affordable.

Ugh. DECISIONS!

Whatever. I just want to feel like I have my own place. The place we're in feels like a place where my things are, not my place. It's home enough, but... .

I need some magic. Sweet, sustainable magic.

A place with

good movement and flow
independent space
creative space
invites family
invites friends
invites cats
warm
light
love and soul
freedom
joy
sustainable
sweet magic
growth

Universe, I am ready and I ask for your assistance





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