How Much Can She Take?

I think that's the name of the game he is either wittingly or unwittingly playing. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't doing some of these things to test me, to see if I really do love him or if I will leave. His behaviour at work, the way he talks to me sometimes, is getting a bit out of hand. Our other co-worker came and checked on us to see if we were actually okay, laughingly, because he was talking so loud - and he just pushes everything I say to max test, pushing me and pushing me, testing my theories ad nauseam.

How much can she take before she stands up to me? Will she stand up to me? In the past, he has said it has been very attracted to me when I do stand up to him.

I think he needs the drama. I think that's the game he's playing with himself.

The fire game.

And this is where I stop pulling back the rope. It feels irresponsible to myself to keep him from taking all that he wants or needs. If he wants to hang himself so badly, for whatever reason, I can't stop him.

It's as if I'm seeing a different side to him. It's as if I asked the universe to show me what I need to see... which, of course, I did.

I feel as though I'm going to need to muster grace and follow the one star, my truth... which, of course, I will.